The Lords of Tantrazz Review

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The Lords of Tantrazz

Review by Orb

Anybody remember MTV’s great animation show, Liquid TV? This was, for those of you that missed it, a weekly half hour of various shorts from a wide range of artists of varying styles. The Lords of Tantrazz is like an extended-play version of a snippet from a Liquid TV episode. Now anybody who may remember these will quickly realize, thinking back, that some of these were very clever, one—Aeon Flux—doing the job well enough to earn its own spinoff. Also, one may remember some of these were really stinky and badly done and you had to sit through them to see Aeon Flux.

Guess which kind The Lords of Tantrazz is like?

Let’s get the basics out of the way first. The story is played out in six chapters, and any chapter can be accessed from the main screen. The game itself was done by Kane Roberts, who has played guitar and cowritten songs for and with Alice Cooper. Alice himself is featured as a villain named “The Hunger.”  You follow the character of Super Agent Veronica Callahan on a seek-and-rescue mission. Don’t bother worrying about the rest—it didn’t make any sense to me, and it won’t to you either. The player starts off hopefully, with a promising intro scene flying over some fairly interesting looking landscape and then … is jolted back to reality.

I think Roberts, whose nickname is apparently “Rambo,” really believes himself to be some kind of Rock and Roll Renaissance Man, and he may seem that way to a 13-year-old groupie. He has drawn and put together this game himself, overstepping the boundaries of his abilities, and apparently is unaware he has done so. The story indicates that the male protagonist is the heroine’s ex-lover.  At the end, you find out he’s her father. This was extremely, for lack of a better word, icky. I think this was not on purpose; it honestly looked like the writer forgot the first part of his story.

As far as the music goes, there is an intro song, written and sung by Roberts, that’s of the fairly decent headbanger sort.  Unfortunately, the player is not treated to any more of this.  There is one other song that sounds as though it were recorded by a garage band playing in an empty beer bar with Cherie Curie at the mike (anybody remember The Runaways? Chhhchhhchhherry Bomb!).

The voice acting is of a caliber heretofore unheard of in the adventure gaming community. If these actors were not in a high school bathroom recording on a portable tape recorder, I’ll eat my hat. To facilitate the recreation of talking while in a helicopter, the lead “actress” apparently decided what was called for was YELLING while in a public bathroom. And Alice Cooper sounds, well, nasally.

The game consisted of around eight really simple puzzles and a lot of talking, following by long periods of my computer computing while I stared at a “loading” screen. The best part of the game was a reflex puzzle whose manual tips offered the advice that I could win by “cleaning my mouse,” which came in handy as I had forgotten to do that in a while. It made my computer spit up a couple of times.

The graphics are done comic-book style, apparently drawn by Roberts, and in my personal opinion, this man needs a date, as the women in the game indicate he’s very lonely (or incredibly shallow, but I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt). As far as I can tell, real women don’t have bodies like these unless they’ve been surgically altered. Pamela Anderson Lee comes to mind. And I’m not sure why Roberts put clothes on her at all except that maybe he thought he couldn’t find a distributor if he didn’t. Lara Croft ain’t got nothin’ on this dame. In other words, the game is nothing but guys with big muscles and girls with big … guns.

There are very small amounts of animation. No character’s lips move. There is some incredibly gratuitous violence, of the Spike and Mike’s Sick and Twisted Animated Film Festival variety.  (For those of you not in the know, this is where Beavis and Butthead emanate/spawn from.) The pictures are still and played out slide-show style. There is one straight-line path through the game, mostly sitting and listening, no looking around for the most part, keep your eyes on the road mister, thankyouverymuch. And it’s not that the graphics are dated (I’ve played other things with dated graphics, and if the design is sturdy to begin with, it doesn’t matter), it’s just that they are bad.

There are serious slows and glitches, some of which are mentioned above, the rest I won’t bore you with, throughout the game. I never got the save feature to work. There were no instructions on how to access the interface.

Ego-wise, this title is comparable only to Queensryche’s Promised Land, which wallowed in that band’s own wonderfulness and “depth.” And I would give this point a score, except that I don’t want to encourage anyone. And why did I trash this game, seemingly with so much relish? Because men like this always deserve that kind of treatment from level-headed women, something of a hobby of mine.

The original gag in Aeon Flux was that she died at the end of each episode after heroically struggling, and this title sure could have used a little of that (the quick death, not the heroism). At least: (1) the game was mercifully short, (2) there was no maze, and (3) Roberts failed to make good on the promise (read: threat) to publish a sequel. The End

The Verdict

The Lowdown

Developer: Kane Roberts Publisher: Atlantean Interactive Games Release Date: 1997

Available for: Macintosh Windows

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System Requirements

PC: 486/33 MHz or better SVGA video card 4 MB free HD 8-bit Windows compatible sound card 8 MB RAM min 2x CD-ROM drive Win 3.1, Win 95 or better Quicktime

Mac: 68040 33 MHz or better 256 colors 4 MB free HD 2x CD-ROM drive System 7 or better Quicktime 2.0 Sound Manager 3.0

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14 Responses to Fear Factor

  • Fear Factor | Tap-Repeatedly.com | Reality Topics Blog

    […] nobody@flickr.com (graftedno1) wrote a very interesting post today.   Here’s a quick excerpt:My greatest fear is to be trapped alone in a confined space with a blind human, in total darkness. They have a heightened sense of smell and hearing, and. […]

  • Matt "Steerpike" Sakey

    Lewis, you made me think of the scariest moments I’ve experienced in gaming, and we’re very similar people.

    Bioshock had two moments – the dentist and the flooded room filled with mannequins.

    Thief had Return to the Cathedral, which was terrifying to me. Thief 3 had Shalebridge Cradle, which is so scary it ought to be fined.

    System Shock 2 kept me on the edge of my seat, but it was more lonely panic than true fear.

    Korsakovia was so scary that I uninstalled it.

    And STALKER. Oh, god, the haunted labs in STALKER. The latter two games don’t have scares like that. Few games do.

    It’s especially rare for a game to have more than mere “moments” – for a game to be scary from beginning to end, that’s a triumph.

    Wonderful article. As if Gregg’s review wasn’t enough to convince me that Penumbra is not something I have the courage to play!

  • DPenn

    I’m with you Lewis … I’m a bit of a puss. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of dread as entertainment.

    Still, I’m drawn to dark stories when they have something interesting to say, whether it’s a game like Thief or a film like, say, Gaspar Noe’s Irreversible. So I’ll push through, sometimes peering through my fingers.

    The trouble with games, though, is that if you look through your fingers, you’re probably just going to have to play through the scenario again. :~)

  • Mike "Scout" Gust

    I wanted to play this game. I downloaded the demo but the controls were just too wonky for me to get my head around. I liked the atmospheric vibe a lot. I think I’m a bit desensitized from an overdose of horror movies in my youth so I don’t so much get the dread thing from these games as a nice creepy vibration. If only the controls were better…

  • Lewis B

    @ Mike, what’s wrong with the controls bud? As someone who despises poor control schemes, Penumbra’s is just like any other FPS, except to examine things you right click on them.  To use things you left click.  I’m not sure that can be considered difficult 🙂

  • Gregg B

    @Steerpike: Yeah my greatest shit-scared moments were with those games too. A few spoilers below people, so beware.

    Bioshock – Haha, I remember the dentist. I didn’t really find the game that scary overall but the bit where you go into the wine cellar and notice a mannequin facing the wall and after upgrading your weapon it’s stood directly behind you motionless and quiet just for a moment before attacking you. I shat a brick. I also missed that bit originally until Lew told me about it.

    System Shock 2 – same as you really, more unremitting tension all the way through rather than specific terrifying moments. Oh actually, theres a bit where you call a lift and it breaks then you realise a service droid is coming to fix it… I do remember having sleep issues after my first encounter with the cyborg ninjas though.

    Thief: The Dark Project – The Sword and Return to the Cathedral and Down in the Bonehoard and well, loads of them. The Sword made me break out into goosebumps though because there was a bit where you could hear this creepy giggling which seemed like it was following me about then it suddenly changed to this horrible throaty noise. What made matters worse was that the EAX (bless you Creative) made my foot steps sound like somebody else was there with me. That level was incredible, a bit too incredible as it seems I missed great chunks of it because I was so eager to leave.

    Thief II: The Metal Age – Trail of Blood where you end up in that opening with those damn tree beasts. God the first time I saw one of those hurtling towards me I actually died shortly afterward. Do you remember that Mechanist child walking around on one of the levels? That was a little creepy.

    Then there’s Penumbra: Overture – quite a few bits but I’m not mentioning them here.

    Oh and S.T.A.L.K.E.R. – The brain scorcher lab just because it was so damn quiet. My imagination seriously got the better of me there. Those stuffed animals and heads I’d seen in various buildings led me to believe that those creatures were lurking somewhere in the Zone, specifically that lab.

    @Mike: My control setup was perfect after some tweaking (as well as the simple weapon swing fix). If you ever fancy giving it another go, give me a shout and I’ll let you know my setup.

  • Lewis B

    I’m not sure why guys, but one of my starting paragraphs had gone missing, even though I copied it straight from the original source, and It was fine earlier. 

    Incase you missed it due to some technical issue you might want to re-read just after “Well no she wouldn’t in truth, but in Penumbra: Overture you don’t want to move anyway.” at the very start for those who’ve already read the article. Apologies 🙂

  • Mike "Scout" Gust

    Lewis, it was the weapon swing. It had this terrible, unresponsive feel to it, like trying to hit through molasses. I couldn’t stand using it. I tried the .ini fix as mentioned in the review but it didn’t seem to help. Of course this was the demo…but that shouldn’t have made any difference. I might try the second game instead as I guess they did away with the weapons thing.

    I’m see your first paragraph just fine. It’s the dialogue, right?

  • jdeuel

    I like the argument that weapons can remove fear, but even loaded to the teeth with ammo in AVP’99 the Marine missions were frightful because the enemy was anywhere at any time.

    As for Penumbra Overture, if the controls are anything like the original Penumbra they need to hack in some Wii-Remote 3d controls. I did not like using my mouse for 3d movements.

  • Gregg B

    @Mike: I’ve read that many people avoided conflict altogether in Overture which incidentally is something forced upon you in Black Plague. As somebody who has been renovating a house over the last 6 months with no DIY experience I can safely say that swinging a hammer is significantly easier in real life than it is in Overture without the fix. The fix balanced that for me.

    I’d highly recommend completing the first Penumbra because it’s one big build up to Black Plague which spoils the ending to Overture in the intro. And it’s a great ending too. Just so you know!

  • Lewis B

    @ Steerpike, those moments you mention are all my worst too!!  Do you remember the Robot labs in SS2? Absolutely terrifying, waiting for robots to burst out on you! 🙁 oh and have you ever player Condemned?

    @ Mike, The use of weapons in Penumbra is different to say HL2, where the player is physically holding the weapon, as in Penumbra it floats slightly infront of you.  However, if you change the control method to normal weapon swing, it’s no different!  Speak to Greggi and he’ll tell you what to do 🙂

    @ jdeuel, AVP the original and its sequal were scary however what type of fear do you think it is? I don’t think it’s anything more than sheer tension.  Having a Smart Gun makes you feel incredibly powerful.  I can honestly say in Penumbra the fear is sheer unrivalled terror, where you actually have to force yourself to play on.  It genuinly is that scary! 🙂

  • Jason Dobry

    It’s so true, an arsenal of weapons and ammo rapidly deflates any sense of horror or uneasiness in any game for reasons you already mentioned. Sakey, I thought Bioshock was more “lonely panic,” while I was pretty much always terrified in System Shock 2. I really, really, REALLY did not want to enter The Many’s nursery, and my weapons were so unreliable and ammo so scarce that I never felt safe.

    Silent Hill was terrifying for the same reasons. Ammo was rare and I frequently had to rely on my pipe for self-defense.  Even when I had ammo, the game mechanics prevented my character from being anything other than marginal with any firearm.

    Fear had one moment for me: I was climbing up a ladder, and as I reached the upper platform, my guy briefly looked down as he climbed off. As my perspective looked up again, that Ring-esque little girl was RIGHT THERE, reaching for me. I screamed and she was gone.

    What else…the original Aliens vs. Predator sent me into a locker room and I could only hear the facehuggers scurrying about somewhere within. I had to go in there. I advanced about three steps before the damn thing screamed and filled up my screen with its repulsive underside as it implanted me with its spawn. My roommate made fun of me for weeks for screaming like a girl child.

    Korsakovia–meh.  I was too annoyed and frustrated by the box rearrangement/jumping puzzles to be scared. I uninstalled it after an hour of play, I think. Maybe the scary parts were later, but I doubt it.

    As for Penumbra, I did play through about half of it before other games distracted me. I remember unease and creepiness, but no sweaty fear. I think I’m to blame here, or, more precisely, my daughter, who was still an infant at the time and generally allowed me only to play during the day for 45 minutes at a time. I was denied total immersion and the fear effect suffered. Maybe I should give it another go after I finish Call of Pripyat since she sleeps through the night now. With any luck, Penumbra will keep me from doing the same.

  • Gregg B

    I played the demo of F.E.A.R. but that ladder scare is the only bit I remember. Christ, that made me jump. I’m not too good with cat scares.

    Also I felt exactly the same about Korsakovia. It was creepy at first but then it began to irritate me far too much and it just soured the experience. I stopped playing as a result. Not to mention, when I realised I could bash those smoke-things with my crowbar they didn’t bother me nearly as much.

  • Online Up

    Great article. I look forward to reading more in the future.

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