“Kill with skill,” advises Bulletstorm’s ad copy. That rhymes so it makes a nice tagline. “Kill as brutally and hideously as you possibly can within only the loosest confines of physics” doesn’t roll off the tongue as easily.
Bulletstorm is exactly what it wants to be: a zany, foulmouthed, crass, absurdly violent fiesta of carnage. And everything about it appears crafted to suit this. Polish developer People Can Fly, working with Epic, have brought their considerable talents for atmosphere, outlandishness, and gleefully gory over-the-topism to bear yet again in a game that really does kind of remind us that “mindless” is not only sometimes a good thing, it can actually be a personality trait.
Soldiers who kill people discover that they’re being used by their superior and quit, stealing a space ship and lurking in the “Side Systems,” where it’s lawless and crappy. The drunken lout in command is named Grayson Hunt, and he’s a douchebag of the highest order: stupid, dirty, horny, brutal, and drunk 98% of the time. He, along with his disgraced unit, they… they sort of wander space and fuck about, I guess. The game opens with Grayson and his executive officer drunkenly trying to shoot an empty moonshine bottle off a living captive’s head. When that ends badly they stumble up to the bridge complaining that they’re out of booze (“but we do have some paint thinner!” says his second). And because Grayson is drunk, he decides to attack a huge battlecruiser on which his foe and former commanding officer resides. And then both ships crash into a planet that could only have sprung from the mind of a team of crazed Poles with dynamite imaginations and spectacularly childish senses of humor. From there it’s a madcap race to hijack a rescue pod, and the only thing between you and it are about ten million screaming, slavering barbarians, mutants, dinosaurs, evil plants and other fucked-up stuff.
When you’re dealing with a game called Bulletstorm, I think it’s not unreasonable to assume certain things, to take them as given. There will probably not be bunnies. It’s probably not for the kids. It might make you rape people.
But it’s fun. It’s sort of purified fun. If enjoyment were Kool-Aid® Brand Soft Drink™, then Bulletstorm is the Kool-Aid® flavor packet. The other ingredients of Kool-Aid® are non-proprietary; water, sugar, ice. But without the flavor packet there can be no Kool-Aid®.
The Skillshot system from which the game takes its ad copy is one of the many fairly unique innovations hiding under Bulletstorm’s ferociously juvenile surface. Simply? The more creatively you kill, the more points you get. And you need points to upgrade your weapons, buy new ones, and to purchase ammunition. Another thing you can probably take as a given when the game’s title is Bulletstorm is that there will be a lot of bullets used, and you’ll need guns to shoot them and a way to get more. And while you get a paltry 10 or 25 points for a regular old kill, you can get a hundred or more if you, say, set a guy on fire and then kill him while he’s burning. That’s the AFTERBURNER skillshot. Or if you use the game’s quad-barreled shotgun to take an enemy’s torso clean off. That’s the TOPLESS skillshot. Or if you slam an enemy into a cactus. That’s the PRICKED skillshot. Or if you take out an enemy’s legs and then kill him while he’s down. I can’t remember what that one’s called, but it’s in there.

You do not want to know.
In fact there are 145 unique skillshots, and they represent the core of the game. The story is ridiculous (but often hilarious, though again, only if you like obsessively juvenile toilet humor). As you harm enemies, time slows down for them, but not for you – making it comparatively easy to pull off many skillshots. For example, it’s a trivial thing to shoot a guy in the nuts and then curb-stomp him as he writhes on the ground in agony for the MERCY skillshot, or to blast him off a cliff for the VERTIGO skillshot, or to shove a grenade up his ass and then blast him off a cliff for the SADIST skillshot. You just gotta be creative.
The game jubilantly racks up each and every shot and point, egging you on to ever more inventive methods of murder. There’s actually a story element built into this – Grayson’s using a stolen device that keeps real-time records of his lethality – but you don’t really need it. Realism and suspension of disbelief are out the window in the raucous, shamelessly obscene game.
What People Can Fly seem so good at, aside from general shooter design, is massive set-piece moments. You may remember the enormous bosses in Painkiller. That scale and scope make a return here, powered this time by the most optimized, most up-to-date, most beautiful Unreal 3 engine I’ve seen. This is the same rev that will be powering Gears of War 3 come September, and it’s a real treat to see how much they’ve improved the already wildly impressive engine since its release.
I will say that you’re going to pay a price for the beauty in Bulletstorm’s frame rates, which sometimes struggle to stay above 20 on my middle-aged rig. Those with slower machines might prefer the 360 or PS3 versions, and the controls work just fine on both those platforms, so no real worries there.

These boots were also made for walkin.
The two three big drawbacks with the PC version are pretty common: first, because this game is a console port, there’s a marked dearth of graphics options to tweak. You get resolution and a handful of low-med-high choices, plus anti-aliasing, but you’re not going to see the visual control granularity of a STALKER here. The same goes for game options – you’ve got the basics of mouse management and key mapping, but nothing robust.
Second, Games for Windows Live. It’s a pain in the ass. Nuff said.
Third, again because it’s a console port, you can’t save wherever you want; Bulletstorm uses checkpoints. It uses them well, I’ll be first to admit – you can barely swing a cat without hitting a checkpoint – but it does use them, and you will find yourself repeating small sections of the game because you got yourself killed out of exuberance.
Bulletstorm is a game so drenched in cartoon gore and so outrageous and shameless and offensive and cocksure and just… preposterous that you really can’t help but love it. It’s comedy violence porn. It is unquestionably my new go-to game for when I want to make digitized people suffer. People Can Fly pulled off a crazy, high-speed ride that shows much more innovation than you might initially assume, and manages to bring new meanings to the word “uncouth” while still just being a whole stupid of a lot of fun. Buy it. Buy it now.
Send an email to the author of this post at steerpike@tap-repeatedly.com.
I just finished the single player last night. Had too much fun with it. Looking forward to playing again later today after I take care of an assload or responsibilities. Stupid adulthood.
The game also ran pretty smoothly for me once I turned the texture level down to medium with everything else set to high.
As silly as the game can be, you can’t help but like it (provided you have a sense of humor of course.) The story is better written and developed than many RPGs I’ve played (which was a huge surprise,) and the main character turns out to be much more of a softy than the initial impression we’re left with.
Also, he’s voiced by Steve Blum, the same guy who voiced Spike in the English translation of the anime Cowboy Beebop, which just makes him twice as cool in my book.
We should try out the multiplayer at some point. Could be fun.
Was looking forward to your thoughts on this, Matt. Noticed you playing it yesterday..
I played the PS3 demo and wasn’t too keen.. but I’ve also read a ton of reports in the last 24 hours from people who said the same but are enjoying the full game. It’s also had some fantastic reviews.
I’m totally on board with the games design, feel and theme. Perhaps I should give the demo another go.
Mat, the demo is fun but doesn’t really capture the game’s pure craziness. It’s one of the more banal sections, and you don’t get much in the way of interaction or humor.
I understand the single player campaign is about 6-9 hours (how did you finish so fast, Armand?!), and the multiplay modes sound interesting. I’m definitely enjoying it. Perhaps a little too much.
It took me about 7 hours to finish it. Mostly just plowed through it so I could write up my own review for BnB. I suppose some people might complain that the single player is too short, but I liked it nonetheless. The story has a great arc, and ends right about where you want it too (in my case, at 2 am on a work night.) It also leaves the plot wide open for a sequel or expansion. I sure hope they make one!
7 hours is fine for a game like this, I think. To be honest I’ve stopped taking notice of length. The game I’ve enjoyed most probably in the last year, pound for pound, was Vanquish.. and that’s a 5-6 hour experience, tops. If a game offers reasonable replayability and is fun to play, I can forgive a modest campaign.
To be honest 7 hours is longer than I was expecting for Bulletstorm..
Agreed, these days, with the production values of a AAA shooter, it’s asking a lot to demand more than 6-9 hours of single-play. You just have to look at Bulletstorm to see how much effort went into creating those levels. Teams of 100 toil for three years to make 6-9 hours of play. I only feel cheated if I don’t enjoy the game.
I keep meaning to grab Vanquish. It got almost universal praise but didn’t sell. Sad.
Agreed. The game is so pretty to look at, the giant boss battles are awesome, and it seems to have a very high replay value. I hope the silliness doesn’t detract from what a quality game it is for people. My 7 hours with it were an absolute joy. Only a few times where I was annoyed with controls, and only very minor bugs (stuck in a wall at one point, and the mouse controls got really wonky at another.)
Envy of you rich established employed folk, arr! I look at this game and sigh with a long and manly longing, for I know I cannot play it.
Well.
I can’t afford the game either.
Thanks for the impressions, Pike – I trust your judgement.
Bulletstorm is definitely on my list of games to buy in 2014 when I’ve got through my existing stack.
Part of me wondering if this is a spiritual successor to Serious Sam. I loved that game, it was mad, it was. (I didn’t get as much out the sequel. Er, so far. I got a bit bored after a few levels.)
It has a lot in common with Serious Sam, HM, which makes sense when you consider that Painkiller also did. It’s less hordes of enemies, but the madness and freneticism are both there.
Your mention of Painkiller alone immediately warrants more interest than I’ve initially given Bulletstorm– the former a game I find to be criminally underrated and tossed aside– and so I shall add at least the demo to my PS3 download queue. It’s been busy today.
Great first impressions here though; probably a more enjoyable 3-minute read than half of the full reviews for this game will actually be. We all appreciate your tireless vigilance, Sakey the Perhaps-Not-So-Less-Handsomer.
Great stuff Steerpike, I might pick this up, but my key worry however if you enjoyed it so much is how many people have you gone on to attack in public as a result of your new found game?
I do worry 😉
This friend of mine has Steam texted “rapist” to me every time he sees me playing the game. Even after I explained to him that in this game you have the opportunity to remote-control a fifty-foot robot dinosaur with LASERS FOR EYES, he was unconvinced that the game would not cause horror.
I am pleased to report that so far, I am guilty only of attacking mutants in the game. 🙂
Well that’s a relief! I was convinced Fox News were onto something BIG! *shakes fist*
The Levels and the World are just beautiful.
The violence is just like Serious Sam..not as big but more fun.
The Sniper bullet view is straight from Singularity….love to see the brain blowing out…
The set pieces are just crazy…..The level on top of the dam…near the 3 cog wheels is just spectacular.
Runs smooth on my 4850…..so no issues there too.
I adore this game.
I love the writing and the dialogue. Not just in the “lol toilet humour” way I was anticipating either. I just.. genuinely love it. There have been three or four moments so far that have made me giggle uncontrollably, and so many more that raised a smile. Some of them scripted.. some of them organic.
Love this game so, so much.
I’m right there with you, dude. I spent the weekend with friends and annoyed them by rambling endlessly about Bulletstorm, which I finished on Thursday night. And am starting again RIGHT NOW.
I gather the PS3 controls work as well as they felt to me? Like Gregg I thought the crouching was a little strange-feeling, but beyond that (during the demo) it worked really well.
Remote control dinosaur. With laser eyes. Just saying.
@Amit – I have a Core 2 Quad9450, with a GTX 460 running video. At Armand’s suggestion I turned a few of the video settings down to Medium. Saw no difference in visual quality and it now runs well over 30fps. Like Mat, I just… love this game.
Would it be better if at some point a grouchy old man said..
“I went down my allotment last weekend – it was covered in shiny metal paper.
I bet it was those meddling kids who foiled my plot!”
o.O
The PS3 controls work fine for me, but then I’ve been a predominant console gamer for the past 15 years. Even for FPS games I’m more comfortable with a Dual Shock than mouse and keyboard. I know, I know..
That said the pressing L3 to crouch is annoying, but I don’t find myself needing to use it all that much. For the odd occasion where I need to take cover to regenerate some health it’s ok, but if I need to quickly change between the thick of the action and crouching it’s pretty awkward.
Have to say I’m not exactly bowled over by the PS3 performance. The environments look stunning, particularly at distance, but up close there’s a lot of poor textures and some screen tearing. Nothing major, mind.. I’m usually having too much fun to notice.
I played about 15 mins of the demo… I don’t know what to think just yet. It hadn’t smashed me with awesome in that time, although I like the cut of the narrator’s gibberish.
Oh. My. Word.
So I took advantage of the Steam autumn sale to double dip on this after foolishly getting rid of my PS3 copy a while back.
I’ve only briefly touched the early stages again, but it reaffirms why this is one of my games of the year so far. I have so much love for this game. Also, it’s one of the finest examples in the step up from console to PC visuals and performance that I’ve personally played. Compared to the PS3 version I played, Bulletstorm is an incredible experience on PC. I’m actually finding myself walking around aghast and hammering F12 to take screen grabs everywhere I go even though I’ve already seen these environments already. But they look so much better here.. and the whole thing looks and runs so smooth. Amazing.
Oddly though I’m playing it with the 360 pad and not KB&M, which is the first time I’ve done that with a shooter since I got my PC. Just feels right with a controller to me.. and I don’t think the M&KB controls are all that intuitive.