To my horror, I’ve discovered that I write like the late David Foster Wallace. I do not like David Foster Wallace, but the internet doesn’t lie. I Write Like is a prose analyzer developed by a Russian software engineer. Paste in some of the stuff you’ve written and it humiliates you by telling you that you write like David Foster Wallace.
I did get “Kurt Vonnegut” once, and “Douglas Adams” once, but I got David Foster Wallace four times by posting in various stuff from this very blog. Maybe that means that this whole “Wall of Text” thing I do that Yapette teases me about is something I should revisit…
Email the author of this post at steerpike@tap-repeatedly.com.
Me too. Their database must have like totally 3 entries the bitches. Let’s see DFW write like that.
I pasted in three excerpts from a 400 word slug of text that I wrote a week ago and got three different authors:
James Joyce
Chuck Palahniuk
Ursula K LeGuin
This just reinforces my theory that the internet has a case of terminal syphilis.
This fun.
I entered staffer’s bios because I thought that would be a constant, a sort of control group.
Yap – Stephen King
Toger – David Foster Wallace
Scout – David Foster Wallace
Mat C. – Dan Brown
Meho – Dan Brown
Jen – (whose entry reads in its entirety: “Jen is cranky 16 hours a day. The other 8 hours she is asleep.”
After that I quit cause I realized that it was random.
Then I entered Helmut’s bio and got Raymond Chandler and now I don’t know.
I hate not being able edit…
Jen’s was William Shakespeare.
Great. On Chandler:
By 1932, during his bookkeeping career, he became a highly-paid vice-president of the Dabney Oil syndicate, but a year later, his alcoholism, absenteeism, and threatened suicide contributed to his firing.
“The thing that rather gets me down is that when I write something that is tough and fast and full of mayhem and murder, I get panned for being tough and fast and full of mayhem and murder, and then when I try to tone down a bit and develop the mental and emotional side of a situation, I get panned for leaving out what I was panned for putting in the first time.” – Chandler
“rambling at best and incoherent at worst” – Patrick Anderson on Chandler’s plots.
Dear Margaret Harcourt Embrace III:
I am applying for the position of Blah. Over the last few years XXXY Corp. has been a leader in spatial planning and visual thinking, and I get excited thinking of working for your company. I can bring positivity to your organization with my obvious strengths in tough and fast while being full of mayhem and murder, while having less obvious abilities in developing mental and emotional themes.
In my current position I’m a technical trainer and my teaching style has been characterized by several clients as, “rambling at best and incoherent at worst,” and that I would continue to bring that talent and skill to XXXY should be considered a given.
And I promise not to let my alcoholism, absenteeism, and continual threatened suicide attempts interfere with what should be a win-win relationship.
Anonymously,
Helmut
Helmut, you’re hired.
The first part of my Hydorah article was written like Margaret Atwood. My girlfriend read her book, The Blind Assassin, about a month ago and she didn’t really like it. Incidentally Hailey has also criticised some of my writing for being chewy. And I’m fine with that because chewy is a nice word.
Second half of my article: David Foster Wallace.
My Super Mario Bros. 2 music article said that it was written like H.P. Lovecraft. Bizarre.
Meanwhile, everything else: David Foster Wallace.
Helmut, if it makes you feel any better, I adore Chandler. Take that however you like. Like Hailey, I’m not fond of Margaret Atwood. I’ve only read The Handmaiden’s Tale and that was something of a slog. I’ve not gone back for more of her other stuff.
I plugged in 5 different reviews: I got Stephen King (The Arrangement), Douglas Adams (Atlantis Quest) and then David Foster Wallace three times in a row. I had to look him up as I’d never heard of him; however, I am something of a philistine. 😉
I’m wondering if the content itself is a factor?
I’m pretty sure that the whole thing’s a scam:
http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/012502.html
I thought as much when I saw the “Learn how to secure a book publishing contract!” below the result.
I, too, got Wallace. I’m suspicious of this site’s claims that we all write similarly, unless it means “similarly awesome.”
On the plus side, Wallace hung himself, so that adds credibility to my writing because all good writers are self-loathing tormented souls. ALL, dammit.
I got Willam Gibson, and felt kind of cool for it, but it does all seem kind of silly.
Knowing that it’s just clever advertising makes me regret sending it to my writer friends..
Colin! I’m sorry I only got to talk to you for like 11 seconds at Interfaces. How is life?
The tool is obviously junk, but from three samples I got, in order, Palahniuk, Wallace, and King.
My fiction is lousy, but did a Russian web tool need to rub my nose in the poo? Bad, mean Uralic speaking developer! No chew toy for you!