From all of us here at Tap-Repeatedly to all of you out there in the ether, may a joyous yule season be upon you. If you’re not into yule seasons, may a joyous other kind of season be upon you. Perhaps a joyous winter solstice, or a joyous late December. Bear in mind that egg nogg is not – repeat, not – a faith-based beverage.
Egg nogg was invented by the Nogg people of the northern Caucasus Mountains in the early 400s AD. The Noggs, surrounded as they were by many a dangerous rival tribe (the Hoggs, the Muckrocks, the Globbertails, etc), sought comfort in their beverage of choice: a tasty mix of a few eggs, a bit of winter spice, some sugar, and a HOLY FUCKTON of liquor.
Classic Egg Nogg Recipe from the Nogg People
(believed to date to ca. 650 AD, based on Nogg cave scratchings)
- 6 cups milk
- 7 whole cloves
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 12-16 egg yolks
- 2 1/2 cups sugar
- 4 cups light, sweet rum
- 3 cups brandy
- 1 cup Bailey’s Irish Cream
- 4 cups light cream
- 2 more teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
- Combine milk, cloves, first teaspoon vanilla, and cinnamon in a saucepan, and heat over lowest setting for 5 minutes. Slowly bring milk mixture to a boil.
- In a large bowl, combine egg yolks and sugar. Whisk together until fluffy. Whisk hot milk mixture slowly into the eggs. Pour mixture into saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly for 3 minutes, or until thick. Do not allow mixture to boil. Strain to remove cloves, and let cool for about an hour.
- Stir in rum, brandy, Bailey’s, cream, 2 other teaspoons vanilla, and nutmeg. Refrigerate overnight before serving.
- Drink until you die
As we all know from our history books, the Nogg culture was all but eradicated before the first millennium was over, when the mysterious and little-understood Pina Colada tribe overran the Caucasus. Nogg writings, religion, art, and even funerary practices were lost to the mists of time. But thanks to countless etchings on Nogg caves, the Egg Nogg recipe remains with us today. How Bailey’s Irish Cream, first introduced in 1974, was discovered or used by the Noggs in their heady recipe remains a historical mystery.
Happy holidays!
Just reading that recipe knocked me on my ass. I’m celebrating already.
Peace, love and joy to all as we move into a brand new year.
I think my head exploded. Happy Holidays, everyone!
Have a great time everyone, of whatever faith or persusion, or none: festive gaming!
…and feel free to add an a to that.
Had a sweet, hassle-free Christmas just staying home this year. Hung out with friends, ate good food, had long funny conversations. No stress, no muss, no fuss. Just feeling relaxed and nicely buzzed on a good red wine.
In other words I didn’t spend Christmas with the family and relatives this year back in the Hellmouth.
Hope everyone at Tap is doing well. And if you imbibed in Steerpike eggnog recipe I expect you are passed out by now and will read this when you wake up in about two days.
My dream is that one year, x-mas will come and go and I won’t even notice. I think my chances at winning the lottery are greater.
Bah Humbug!
I had a lovely Christmas with the same ten or so friends I always have Christmas with. A lot of great conversation.
And great roast beef, yorkshire pudding, mash potatoes, gravy, carrots, brussel sproats, port, stilton and etc etc.
kay
I decided to get myself a dog for Christmas. No idea why though I just built a fence around my postage stamp sized yard so that might be why. It’s like fucking Ebay! I am checking out the local Humane Society website, thinking, cool… a Portland get-a-dog-thing. But no. It’s like one of those find a Russian bride sites but you are adopting a dog instead. Everything is abused pit bulls or 3 inch long mutant mini dogs with Santa hats. Anything like a normal, real dog is gone in like an hour.
Happy New Year y’all, let’s turn this century up to 11!
Well Scout, since you mentioned it, why not go for the Russian bride??!! She won’t poop and pee on the carpet. You only need to take her for walks when you feel like it. She probably has had all her shots. Chances are that she won’t get rabies, earmites, worms or mange. She shouldn’t shed on the furniture much. And if you’re really lucky, she will be able to cook and clean. How many dogs have you ever seen that can do that? Then again, how many Russian brides have you met that can roll over and play dead, or catch a tennis balls in their teeth. Bride? Dog? A toss-up.
Happy 2011 everybody.
Maybe I’ll just get a goldfish.
Scout, I’d send a PM but mine don’t work.
Forget the Humane Society, you want to tap 😉 into the local rescue groups – the do-gooder animal lovers who feed & foster. Go to Petfinders.com, plug in your zip or zips close to home. You should get oodles more doggies. Mind you, these groups will need to vet you before placement…to include email app, phone interview & home visits! They are particular about who gets their rescues. OTOH, they usually have the pick of the area by regularly creaming the best/most adoptable/cutest/friendliest animals from municipal rescue societies.
Demand ongoing updates with pics!
Oops, can’t edit, what you want is Petfinder.com
Edit: Wow! While changing my cursor in win7, the cursor wandered over this post & a message popped up: “Double click to edit.” When did that happen – the ability to edit front page posts? Hello Yap, get with the program.
Great tip, Yapette. Ironically the Oregon Humane Society takes up the local Petfinders first 3 pages of listings but after that there are several outfits that list that I hadn’t heard about. Some on other Humane Societies and some are specialized places for a particular kind of dog. Wow….some of those places want 250.00 for a rescue dog! Hundreds of pages of dogs though.
Thanks!
Everything is abused pit bulls or 3 inch long mutant mini dogs with Santa hats
hehehe, made me laugh there Scout! 🙂
Yapette beat me to it, but I would also say looking into the specific rescue groups is not a bad idea. Of course, checking into the local pound and humane society is also a good step, since those are the animals closest to being euthanised. Kudos to you for rescuining an animal and bringing it into your home.
Happy new year to my friends at Tap Repeatedly. I haven’t posted much, but I’m still very much reading the articles and sharing in the frivolity that always is in such large supply here! Good group of people.
Seasons Greetings to all, hope everyone had a good Christmas and New Year!
Bump. Going to try this recipe. Tonight. Until I get it right.
If we don’t hear from Helmut ever again, we’ll know he got the recipe right.
Last year I made progress with the preparation of this recipe. If you’ll recall, two years ago I turned the whole mess into a boiled boozy egg chew, with guests reporting less than satisfaction both on the palate and in the tummy. Last year, we nailed it, although at 1/2 the booze suggested, guests were still stunned hours later. This year I’ll try 1/3 (hate to be weak sauce) and will remember to remove from the heat prior to the warning signs. Here’s hoping.
Good luck! We’re all counting on you to get this right!
Got it working well. The recipe as it stands is good for about 15 adults, some of whom will have seconds. For that, I used 2 cups Rum and 1 cup Baileys, the Brandy has a tendency to make things smell a little too boozy, which may or may not be the point. I brought the mixed milk egg mixture to 175 F (according to our meat thermometer) which, when chilled, made a nice super thick and rich mixture. There’s no need to push it beyond that and indeed in the bottom of the pan were tiny traces of cooked egg, so we got it out of there just in time.
Congrats, Helmut! Sounds delicious. The Steerpike family indulged as well, though our recipe is much simpler than that of the ancient Nogg People. No boiling or whipping at all. In fact I think you just dump everything into a bowl, stir, and refrigerate.
Hope your liver survived the holidays!
I did wonder if any changes actually occurred within the mixture if it doesn’t cook. There may not be any point to heating it at all