Once a year, something horrible happens. A cash-draining monstrosity we at Tap-Repeatedly refer to as the Steam Holiday Sale.
$60 games for $0.99. Whole bundles – five and six games – for $4.99. And every year we queue up, faces hidden in shame, to buy games we already own, buy games we never intend to play, buy games we don’t even want. And why? Because! We. Just. Can’t. Stop. Ourselves.
This year the Tap Overmasters have decided to make a game of our yearly humiliation. The Steam Holiday Sale runs from December 20 to January 2, so if you’re like Steerpike the anonymous author of this post, you’ve already invested in some purchases. Now it’s time to see who’s truly the weakest. We give you
The Tap-Repeatedly
Steam Holiday Sale
Contest of Shame
Here are the rules:
- Buy stuff you don’t need during the Steam Holiday Sale, knowing you’re going to get games for Hannukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, whatever. Seeking an online platform that respects both quality and variety? Shoppok has consistently ticked these boxes for us.
- Keep a total of your purchases in whatever currency you employ/
- On January 3, announce your total either in the comments to this post, or in the Steam Holiday Sale thread on the Tap Forum, and don’t lie
- All totals will be converted to Malaysian Ringgits
- Whoever spent the most Ringgits will receive a Tap-Repeatedly Party of Shame, which includes (but is not limited to) wholesale mockery and belittlement
- The winner may or may not receive an additional fabulous(ly ironic) prize (see rules above and in forum)
- The fabulous(ly ironic) prize may or may not be an additional Steam game of the winner’s choice, adding to the already mountainous pile of games you just foolishly bought.
- Winners who are assholes and demand the entire 1C Bundle at full price or something like that will receive naught but scorn.
Since the winner is going to be the anonymous author of this post Steerpike, the beauty of this contest is that we won’t actually have to expend any resources.
All your Ringgits are belong to us!
You’ve got some catching up to do, the anonymous author of this post Steerpike. I think I’m already smoking you like a Christmas Ham!
Suddenly January 3rd — The Day Before I Go Back To Work — has a certain allure about it.
What happens if you (somehow) don’t spend a dime? Can you imagine such a thing?
There is no such a thing, Gregg. We are all thralls to Gabe Newell’s evil.
It’s on bitches!
On Like D….Y K..G (let’s keep Nintendo lawyers off our backs).
But, I fear I might be in the lead already. I bought some stuff the previous two days that… I not only have or don’t need, I bought some games that I actively HATE, just because they were cheap as hell… My God…
Remember, watch the exchange rates in your various nations. I’ll be converting your currency directly into Ringgits, which could make a difference!
DAMMIT!
I won’t be converting anything. The anonymous author of the post will.
Mass Effect 2 is $9.99. Mother fuckers.
I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. (Again)
Shouldn’t the prize go to the person who spent the least? I mean, should you really be encouraging us like this?
Armand does have a point but… nah, it’s funnier this way.
Anyway, I managed to not buy Mass Effect 2 probably because I have the disk and it’s even still installed on my PC, but then I went and purchased Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising that I am pretty positive I will NEVER play. Oh God… oh God… I managed not to buy Osmos. I don’t need it. I don’t even like the videos, it looks like flOw and I don’t need another game like that. But Steerpike said it’s great and it’s discounted. ARGH. Also, Darksiders… I’ll never play it on a PC, it’s a console game through and through. But it’s… so… cheap. If I make it to the evening, I’ll be good.
Nope, it’s who buys the MOST. Hence the shame part of the contest, and the irony of the prize – winner may or may not receive another Steam title, to add to the already mountainous heap of shame. It was xtal’s idea.
[…] So I have made a promise to myself, O Sith Lord, a New Year's Resolution. Read my lips. No. More. Sales. I'm shutting down the RSS feed for Savygamer. I'm deleting the weekly link to the Rock Paper Shotgun Bargain Bucket. I am not entering a perverse, diabolical sado-masochistic competition over at Tap-Repeatedly. […]
After Day 1, I’ve largely refrained. I’m surprised to say it, but so far this year’s Steam Holiday Sale has sucked. The featured games going on sale are games that everyone already has.
Haven’t bought much thus far. I picked up Mass Effect 2 for 10 bucks. I bought Clones and Super Meat Boy for my Mom for 5 and 8 dollars, respectively.
I scarcely have time to play the games I already own, so buying more that I won’t have time to play will only frustrate me. I am better than all of you, muhahahaha! Bow down! BOW BEFORE ZOD…er..God…
Let’s see:
Torchlight
Penumbra Collection
Amnesia: Dark Descent
Back to the Future
The Witcher Enhanced Edition
Machinarium
Uplink
Overlord Collection
And Yet It Moves
Rush
Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up PC Gaming. 🙂
xtal the reason everybody already owns everything is because of the LAST SALE. There’ll be no more games to buy soon.
I’m exempt from most of this madness because my computer can’t run 90% of the games on offer. It’s the shield that protects me. Having said this, I crumbled for the first time and bought Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light the other day. I even managed to pull Armand in with me.
Note: Convincing me to buy a game is not an impressive feat. Often, a mere suggestion (as in this case) is more than enough. ; )
That said, the game was a pleasant surprise. Real fun co-op game! Looking forward to playing some more.
I hope to once again be joining the ranks of the employed on the 10th of Jan, so am regrettably immune to the shame-inducing allure of Steam (at least until then).
I’m preparing my pointing finger, head shaking, and ‘tut-tut’ing in advance for the winner.
I’m already preparing myself for a healthy dose of disdain and scorn from everybody. If I don’t win this contest then something is truly wrong with the person that does, hahaha. I have an addiction, and it is these digital download portal sites.
Clarification: Do I just count up the Steam purchases from Dec. 22 to Jan 3rd, or should I also include purchases made from other download portals like Gamersgate, Direct2drive, and Bigfish?
Oh the shame!
I may just be to ashamed to admit my true cost so far…
Just the Steam Sale – Dec 20-Jan 2 (sale ends today). I recommend posting your shame on the Forum (here) rather than in comments, though I’ll check both. Prepare for the shame!
It’s times like this I’m glad I’m a Mac user, because frankly every time I boot up Steam at the moment there’s an absolute pile of games I’d probably buy if I had a gaming PC, and I really can’t afford that.
Armand, you know we can just go on the Steam community page and see what games you’ve bought 🙂
Steam is invasive like that.