Foreword by Steerpike

It was 2008 – around this time of year, actually – that I sent an email to Jen, and asked in oh-so-casual a tone what it cost to maintain Four Fat Chicks, the beloved gaming site she had run tirelessly for nine years before announcing her retirement.

She told me. “Are you thinking about taking it over?” (absolutely not, I thought, I wouldn’t have the first idea how. I’m just curious).

And then: “You should talk to Brad. That’s MrLipid. He asked me the same thing.”

Well heavens, I thought. Maybe we could do it in partnership. That would make it a lot easier. He’d do the work, I’d take the credit, everyone would win. So I got Brad’s phone number from Jen and gave him a call.

Hello, readers! I’m writing to you from sunny San Fransisco, California, where I’m about to hit the Expo floor for GDC 2012! Lots of game conferences are about show and spectacle: loud trailers and huge press announcements. But although there are always a few pieces of news, the annual Game Developers Conference is really a bit different. It’s more of a time for learning and reflection. It’s where developers talk about how games are made, what games …

We are now officially three months into 2012. Just where is the time going? I don’t know. But if you’re anything like me, not enough of it is being spent on gaming. Which brings us neatly to this month’s Log of Shame. The release calendar is starting to warm up nicely, and I suspect the arrival of a certain Mass Effect 3 might result in more than a few -1 scores for this month. Not …

Whether it’s worth your money is something only you can answer… and you’ll probably only be able to say for sure after you’ve paid, and played, to whatever degree you “play” Dear Esther. In the end all I can say is that it’s something important.

Back on schedule.  Heck yes.

…Boomblastica is a lighthearted, bright-colored, music-focused action game for mobile devices. It’s available in the iPhone app store, and the Droid Marketplace. The game itself is a free download, with additional levels for a small price if the game happens to grab you. … Just be prepared to curse your chubby fingers.

Time to stop stalling, people. There’s a giant snake-dog thing that wants me in Anor Londo, there’s treasure in Anor Londo, there’s plenty of reasons to go to Anor Londo. No more detours. No more diversions.

Let’s do this thing.

Oh, LucasArts.  Dear, dear LucasArts.  Do you remember all the good times we had in the 90s?  I do.  But I bet I remember one that you don’t.

Why all the screenshots, then? Well, reader Matt W asked that I review the game but made me promise not to spoil anything. How, then, can I communicate some of what you’ll experience without giving much away? A lot of screenshots and clever cropping. I present them in no order, with no context, and without motive for what I’ve used. Beyond that I can reveal one more thing: Analogue tells a very sad story, about shocking tragedy and unpardonable crimes, about the reversion of a once-progressive culture to something barbaric.

Something snarky about it being Wednesday.

Musical indie Cipher Prime has returned to its roots with a sequel to the firm’s mesmerizing debut, Auditorium. I adored – and still adore – that brilliant, beautiful puzzler. Fractal, Cipher Prime’s sophomore achievement, I could have done without. Still, they’ve made a name (and a living) for themselves in a hard, harsh world… and now they’re Schaferizing, using Kickstarter to help fund Auditorium Duet, a multiplayer sequel to the original.

Do I want it to be multiplayer? No, I hate other people. And Auditorium’s beauty has always been a very single-person thing to me. But still, I wish the best for Cipher Prime, and if you have some change in your couch cushions, you should do the same.

Technical difficulties, corrupted in-game audio and a bout of illness have all conspired to prevent me from putting up this video. As my first foray into recording in-game footage and editing it afterwards, it was hardly plain sailing. Despite all this, I’m reasonably pleased with the end result and I’ve taken the liberty of using the Guild Wars soundtrack as an accompaniment to the footage. What’s not to love about Jeremy Soule’s music? Hit the jump for the video, I hope you like it.

So, everybody and their dog got themselves a Playstation Vita. Which of course makes no sense. Dogs, unlike cats are absolutely terrible at videogames and my neighbour’s German shepherd while pretty talented in some other fields (like barking and shitting in the street) never won a single Street Fighter match against me. And I let the stupid animal play as Ken, for crying out loud!!!

Since Mass Effect 3 is right around the corner, I spent my precious gaming hours last weekend reviewing some stuff I missed in Mass Effect 2. Mostly, it was DLC, including the fantastic Shadow Broker story arc (we downloaded this at its launch, but it’s been in my backlog). But I had also skipped one of the crew’s character-focused loyalty missions. That crew member was Legion.

I wrote nothing on my notepad for the first five hours of playing Guild Wars 2. I always write something when taking part in any Beta event, which makes writing about those first five hours somewhat of a challenge. But then again, this was no ordinary Beta event. All my original intentions went out the window the moment I logged in.