GP reports that Philadelphia newspaper The Bulletin has published an article warning parents of the Morningstar’s recent involvement in videogame development. Apparently Lucifer has decided that games are a great way to slurp up tender new souls, what with all the angel killing and stuff in games like Bayonetta. The article warns against pacts with the devil, explains why it’s mean to kill angels, alerts us to The Adversary’s new tool, and calls out various games specifically. Did you know that in Dragon’s (sic) Age Origins, the player CAN HAVE THE SEX with a WOMAN? *Shudder*. Of course Dante’s Inferno is especially singled out, but it’s a plagiarized crapgasm so why The Bulletin bothered is beyond me.
If you happen to be playing anything, take a moment to determine whether you see the hand of Satan in it. If you see that hand, do not under any circumstances pledge your soul to it.
And here I was merrily bludgeoning someone with a baseball bat in Team Fortress 2.
I’m ashamed of myself… 🙁
:face/palm:
“…so why The Bulletin bothered is beyond me.”
The Bulletin billed itself as “Philadelphia’s Family Newspaper” and had a conservative editorial focus. (from Wikipedia)
When I started playing Fallout 3 I created my character much in my own image. I thought that human foes, especially of the male variety, would go easy on the short little lady. They didn’t. I felt badly (only in the beginning, of course) blowing away female enemies. No longer. I mow down everything in sight. So, I am already in the “handbasket”, and we know where that handbasket is headed. That said, I haven’t killed any angels or had sex with another woman in F3, so maybe I’m not quite as doomed as I might have been.
Not Lucifer!! Shazbot!!!1! I quit the video games.
:lolface:
Is that a screenshot of the last boss in Dante’s Inferno?
‘Even the most hard-core gamers are sounding the alarm…’
…
HAHAhahahahaHAHA…
HAhahah!!1! I bet they are. The alarm on BS.
@ Gregg, last boss on Dantes Inferno! I can’t stop laughing 🙂 🙂
What concerns me most is the whole “sex” thing… especially since it can be “with a woman.” If I’d known that this was allowed, I’d never have gotten into videogames in the first place. I’d have chosen a more Godly career, like the priesthood, and a more wholesome hobby, like molesting young boys.
To be fair to the wahck-jobs, it seems like they aren’t so upset at the fact that the player can have “sex” with a woman, but rather you have “sex” with a woman as part of a paga ritual called “blood magic” to give birth to a god-baby. The other example was having sex with a demon.
So, to give these folks the benefit of the doubt, not that they deserve it, but because that’s the kind of guy that I am, perhaps if your character just had the option of having sex with a non-demon woman in a non-path of evil revelations sort of way, they might be ok with it and not see it as a sign of the devil.
Then again, who I am to say? I’m currently reading a comic book series called Lucifer, where the main character of the series is, in fact, the Morning Star.
What I’m more concerned about is the fact that a journalist (I use that term loosely) actually wrote this piece, and without doubt believes it is a serious concern.
Religious people worry me. Gravely. We are in the 21st Century for crying out loud. The God Squad would have a problem with absolutely everything if it doesn’t protect or promote their own religious dogma.
I’m also bothered about the fact that they mention Guitar Hero.
Follow the link to pluggedin.com (their religious review website I assume) every review manages to be turned back around to god. It’s quite impressive. They probably liked Aion because it’s the battle of Heaven or Hell (technically)
I was just texting with Satan the other day. Satan is very excited about the recent developments in gaming, esp the synergy between casual gaming and mobile technology. Satan sees tremendous growth in soul reaping through touch technology. Satan is working on a pinch to zoom app…one stroke of a virtual boob and you are Satan’s forever. The future is bright.
It’s clear to me that The Prince of Darkness needs to step up his game in terms of steering video games toward evil and controversy! How about for Manhunt 3 we take up Steerpike’s regretfully missed opportunity of a career and play as a child-molesting, holy water-spewing Shadow Priest? With a Bruce Campbell chainsaw arm too?
I suspect the Lord of Lies is taking it slow, xtal, probably because he’s seen that many developers bite off too much with early projects and wind up folding. He doesn’t want to mortgage Hell on a game that doesn’t consume souls, right?
@Lewis: check out raptureready.com sometime if religious people worry you. I love that place!
Scout, you TEXT with Satan? Dude won’t even give me his email address. And it’s not satan@hell.com, I tried that and it bounced.
Oh! Thank you so much for the link to raptureready.com, Steerpike.
I’m feeling better already. I enjoyed the very informative FAQs, and especially the question (and answer): “Should we really pluck out our eyes?”
I think that if I do a bit of reading on that site religiously, every single day, I will at some point in the future be able to overcome my addiction to TR and to gaming.
I am in the process of being saved.
You and me both, Spike! I read the post-rapture survival guide cover to cover on that site. Result? I AM PREPARED FOR THE END OF DAYS. I know all about canned goods and not getting the Mark of the Beast and all that stuff.
You guys are gonna want to hang out with me after the rapture on account of my canned goods. So you’d better treat me right today!
That said, I’m a little worried about this whole “seas and rivers turning to blood” thing. I’m hoping God reconsiders that one. I mean, can you imagine the smell after a few days? I’d better start soaking surgical masks in Pine-Sol right now.
Hey Matt, from what I heard Satan tried to register the domain hell.com but it was already registered by a cybersquatter who refused to give it up. Thus, Lucifer had no choice but to register the account satan48270@gmail.com 🙂
No matter how much I wish organized religion would stop trying to control what people do, it ain’t ever gonna happen. Ever. So, nothing we can do but ignore it (maybe poke some fun at them while mostly ignoring), and stay vigilent that no politician falls for their brainwashing and tries to pass laws that do control what we can play and read and watch, etc.