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What happened to Bulletstorm? It’s a fair question. Here’s a game that – while admittedly not for everyone – was a highly innovative and gorgeous shooter. Tightly designed, cleverly written, well put-together, from a collaboration between two of the most reliably competent genre leaders in the industry. It didn’t go seriously over budget, it wasn’t late, it wasn’t buggy, it didn’t promise one thing and deliver another, and it didn’t rehash World War II or Americans-killing-Arabs memes. The critical reception ranged from positive to gushing; it shipped on every major platform. It was, by all accounts, the definition of a new IP blockbuster.

It’s on the books, people: EA CEO John Ricitiello is out. The #2 publisher isn’t going to hit its numbers for the quarter and has been underperforming for some time, even as it endures a hailstorm of ongoing negative press. In his memo to employees, Ricitiello takes the high road, assuming all the blame for EA’s revenue problems and stating unequivocally that the buck stops with him. I respect that, and I’ve always had at least some respect for John Ricitiello. He may not have been God’s gift to CEOs, but there’ve been worse in this industry; the truth is EA’s suffering can’t all be laid at his door – though the culture that allowed it probably can.

Review by Bearwhale Battlefield 3 Developer DICE Publisher EA Released October 25, 2011 Available for PC, Xbox 360, PS3, iOS Time Played 10-15 hours Verdict: 3.4/5 Middlin’ “I can only hope that these problems are fixed because without them, Battlefield 3 could be a pretty neat game. As it is, though, it needs a LOT of work.”

Poor Alice. Years pass and the pain of tragedy diminishes with time, but neither shame nor guilt nor madness ever leave us. And for Alice Liddell, once-bold Wonderland explorer, madness has returned with a vengeance.

American McGee’s Alice was under-appreciated; I appreciated it – at length, and reprise that appreciation with an expanded version of the same article for the upcoming Well Played 3.0 – but most people didn’t get it. Too many jumping puzzles, too difficult, too long, too packed with disturbing imagery deemed unsuitable for the world of Wonderland. The game sold okay but didn’t do well critically, and it took eleven years for EA to allow a sequel. Still led by American McGee, that Terry Gilliam of video games, Alice: Madness Returns is upon us.

Where to begin? Stupidest game ever? Most obnoxiously altered voiceover? Highest quotient of clicking? If the open beta available on Steam is any indication, DarkSpore – the pathetic grasp at success so profoundly failed with the medicority of Will Wright’s original Spore – this is not one you’ll want to spend your Galleons on. Why? Because IT SUCKS. Not offensively so, oh no. It sucks in a sad gasp at sucking. It doesn’t even bother …

This weeks sales chart is in from GFK and it’s not surprising to see Crysis 2 head to the top spot.  I’m still getting over Homefront actually achieving number one last week (people really must be desperate to spend their money). Anyway, EA can be proud that Crysis 2 enjoyed a bigger opening weekend than Bulletstorm and Dragon Age II, two of 2011’s big hitters.  It’s also good news for Crytek and PC development, especially when you …

EA’s on a roll this week! First there was the thing where it banned a user from its forums for (rather politely, actually, at least in forum terms) pointing out that, in his opinion, Dragon Age 2 was shit; the ban extended to his EA account and suddenly the dude was locked out of all EA games he owned. After public vilification the company backtracked, claiming a “mistake.” Then they refused a refund to a …

Warning: Bulletstorm will make you rape people. So says Fox News, that bastion of fair-and-balanced reporting, its experts dourly citing completely unrelated and often debunked studies to that effect. To my knowledge no rapes have been connected to the recent demo release, but likely the law hasn’t been looking for said connection. Bulletstorm is going to make you rape stuff, not because there are any rapes in it or because it endorses rape or even uses the word rape (though it does use the word “dicktits”), but because… um.

Assuming what we can from the demo, Bulletstorm is juvenile toilet humor with liberal amounts of gore and NSFW, often sexually-charged achievement names for killing things by pumping shells up their rectums or what have you. Sometimes juvenile toilets can be kind of awesome.

Ah, the age old question. FIFA vs PES. For some of us, it really does feel like an age that we’ve comparing and contrasting the two games. As an avid fan and follower of the sport both in its real and virtual iterations, I have personally stuck with and purchased every FIFA and Pro Evolution Soccer instalment for more than a decade. Before Pro Evolution Soccer was even known as Pro Evolution Soccer. Throughout EA’s drought between the years 2000 to 2006, and through Konami’s between 2007 and 2010 equally.  It hasn’t always been an easy ride to look at both games objectively or impartially, either. Try comparing the mighty PES 5 to the lacklustre FIFA 05, or the current title holder FIFA 10 to the whimpering efforts from Konami last year. There is no comparison.

This however is 2011, at least in video game release terms, and things have changed. Take a look at Metacritic and you’ll see a clear winner; an almost unified agreement of who is this years king. But I don’t agree that things are quite that straight forward. Rather than review both games separately or try and justify a score with a quick “X is just better than X” quote at the bottom of a clichéd summary, I’m going to try and look at the two games in direct competition. It’s a bit of a departure from how games are normally reviewed on Tap, but I’ll give it a go anyway.

Not long after dismissing the value of literally every independent developer in the world except for Bungie (note that most outlets are saying “indie.” That word has a different connotation), Bobby Kotick of Activision/Blizzard has unleashed this little chestnut, courtesy of EDGE Magazine: You know what? What we like about a developer is that they have a culture, they have an independent vision and that’s what makes them so successful. We don’t have an Activision …

Review by Lewis B Warhammer Online Developer Mythic Entertainment Publisher EA Released July 2009 Available for PC Time Played: over 150 hours. Verdict: 3/5 Middlin’ “Warhammer Online still has promise, but the licence is tragically underused. Mythic has tried to emulate World of Warcraft in so many ways they have lost their identity and reputation in the process. Despite innovation, Warhammer Online falls far short of what could have been something truly special.”

It’s been a little since Activision/Blizzard scumhole CEO Bobby Kotick shoved his foot so far into his mouth that it came out his ass – he’s been too busy cornholing his most profitable studio to be verbally inflammatory – but who can forget such lovable quotes as this and this? But the Most Hated Man in Gaming is at it again, telling the Wall Street Journal that fans are “clamoring” for a subscription-based Call of …

Yo yo yo, dawg, Realtime Worlds’ banger MMO APB be in the hizzle with the nizzle, foshizzle, be gettin ON with its phat beta. Some folk been K-in fo this, fo sho. Ain no dis, no hatin. Roll on wit some funky-fresh APB bling. Pimp out yo gangsta or yo po-po (if dat be how you roll, dawg) and get yo bad self OFF THE HINGES wit da Keys to da City, yo. I ain’t …

The stampede toward the exit continues at Infinity Ward, despite parent company Activision/Blizzard still refusing to pay the studio hundreds of millions in royalties owed for the success of Modern Warfare 2. The current departure list stands at eleven, not including the fired COO/CEO/CTO/CCOs Jason West and Vince Zampella. According to a source I know within Infinity Ward, more are likely submitting their resignations today, and even Activision has now admitted that it expects more …

EA Digital Illusions CE (DICE) have been around for a while.  Since the days of Benefactor on the Amiga, and the first of the Battlefield series, they have carved out a name for themselves in an industry flooded with militaristic games.  With ten Battlefield games (including expansion packs) across three platforms under their belt, many critics were wondering how far DICE could continue to develop the sub-genre of team based warfare…