The Log is late again. But can you really stay mad at a face like that?
Sorry Dark Souls, I didn’t mean to leave you. It just sort of happened. I’ll be back soon, I promise.
Stephen King’s novella collection Full Dark, No Stars could – kindly – be dismissed with a casual ‘not his best work.’ But there’s one in there, briefer than the others, called Fair Extension.
Dave Streeter runs into Satan on a lonely Maine road and they get to talking. An offer is made, an honest to God deal with the Devil. I’m sure you know how those work. But Lucifer’s not really what you expect.
“…if you think I’m going to show up two decades or so down the line and to collect your soul in my moldy old pocketbook, you’d better think again,” sneers the Devil. “The souls of humans have become poor and transparent things.”
There are basically two schools of thought on how to approach a Souls game: use the wiki, or don’t use the wiki. I use the wiki. I don’t rely on it, but I use it. My experience is that a few spoilers are nothing compared to what you’d miss without those resources. Characters. Goodies. Immense swathes of storyline. Arguably, the whole theme of the game (Eastern-tinged postamble interpretation of Hellenic ‘Olympians vs. Titans’ creation mythology refracted through Knight of Faith concept in contra-Campbellian nihil-existentialist environment). Two entire regions I would have missed without the wiki form this, our latest (and gloomiest) entry in the Diaries.
I’m a week late and it’s totally my fault. – Dix
The Log might be a little later than scheduled this month, but The Log is here nonetheless. And he’s here to count your gaming misery. March was a pretty brutal month for The Log, and some of those minus figures are really starting to toll up.
You’ve waited this long to hear what they’ve been working on…
I know this is likely to render meaningless the lives of many a reader, but you gaze upon the fifth-to-last Dark Souls Diary.
“Steerpike!” You cry. “No! Please for the love of all that is good and/or holy, say it’s not true! You have already written twenty thousand seven hundred and eighty-eight words, words we neither solicited nor enjoyed! Your own mother has asked you to stop! Say that we don’t have to read five more of these before the torment can end! We beg you Steerpike, just type this: ‘and then I did a bunch of other stuff and won the end forever.’ Wouldn’t that be a pithy closing?”
That actually would be pretty clever.
Unfortunately Kermdinger Studios was hit by a meteorite yesterday and completely obliterated. Bummer.
Okay, I’m just kidding. Only Ethan was obliterated.
While I’m stuck in my room because the Queen is outside and they won’t let me out (still sore about that whole revolution thing, I guess), I’ll get you up to date on what the Kermdinger chaps have been up to.
I completed Dark Souls a couple weekends ago – something I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to do. However, just because I’m done doesn’t mean that each and every one of you aren’t hanging on breathlessly for the next installment of my Diary! Far be it from me to deny you.
Today the adventure continues with all new topics: oral hygeine for snakes, the world’s worst library, dragons in the buff, and more crystal than you can shake a hippie at! Let’s go!
We are now officially three months into 2012. Just where is the time going? I don’t know. But if you’re anything like me, not enough of it is being spent on gaming. Which brings us neatly to this month’s Log of Shame. The release calendar is starting to warm up nicely, and I suspect the arrival of a certain Mass Effect 3 might result in more than a few -1 scores for this month. Not …
Back on schedule. Heck yes.
Time to stop stalling, people. There’s a giant snake-dog thing that wants me in Anor Londo, there’s treasure in Anor Londo, there’s plenty of reasons to go to Anor Londo. No more detours. No more diversions.
Let’s do this thing.
Oh, LucasArts. Dear, dear LucasArts. Do you remember all the good times we had in the 90s? I do. But I bet I remember one that you don’t.