I am at a loss for words. “That’s the best news I’ve ever heard!,” said everyone else.

I opened the door to 2019; felt like I was struck dead. Saw the future, but all the future was was the past repeating itself. “Fuck,” I exclaimed. “No!,” I pleaded. I tried to slam the door shut, cried in horror at the terrible revelations unfurling themselves. But there was no closing the door. Before I knew it I was on the other side, mistakes ready to be remade; but would any lessons be learned? I feared for the worst case. I was right to be afraid.

2018 will place, respectably, just after 2017, but definitely before 2016, 2015 and 2014 as the second best year of the PS4/Xbox One/Nintendo Switch generation (2019 TBD). Behold!

Look, I know it’s the end of March. Does that matter? Does that mean last year didn’t happen? Some of us just wanted an extra three months to keep hunting for shrines, and to keep reaching for those elusive chicken dinners.

You died. Alone. Because there was no one to touch your bloodstain. Because the servers are going offline. So there won’t be online features. Get it?

“Hello, please leave your message after the beep.”

“Hi, this message is for 1998 and 2007. I just wanted to tell them to go fuck themselves.”

Yesterday, in an Extra Life encore, I finished The Last Guardian. I just want to type those words again.

I finished The Last Guardian.

Games, games, games! Everybody’s got some games! Games, games, games! Games for you and I to play!

Rooting around in a coffee table basket, looking for a notepad, I unearthed this list. I’d forgotten having written it down a little over a month ago. Upon seeing it I remembered, ‘oh, this is that list I wrote down of my 17 favourite PS4 games.’

So…That’s what this is, then.

(Sorry, early adopters. There are no PS VR games here.)

Are you interested in reading about No Man’s Sky? The last few hundred words of this deluge might be related to that subject! Maybe.

Dark Souls. (Well now you have to read on!)

Goatee. Goat-eee. Goat tie. Go tee! Go, tea. Goaty. Go-at-ee.
It’s GOTY time.

The following six-thousand seven-hundred seventy-five words contain scenes of nonsense and buffoonery. Viewer discretion is advised.

The Order is a difficult game (I don’t mean in the difficulty sense): it’s flawed, it’s unusually paced, and the constant shifting between relinquishing control and having it sometimes arrested the flow of seamless events that developer Ready at Dawn aimed for this experience to have. But when it hits the mark it does so in an impressive, often thrilling fashion.

Critics and reviewers have so far been mixed across the board; and so here I come to tell you why I think The Order | 1886 is a good game, and how I don’t think it’s all that dissimilar from another AAA Sony exclusive.

Foreword from the author,

Sometimes writing things is difficult. Not literally, like pushing keyboard buttons, that’s usually not difficult, except when coke spills in your keyboard and really messes up the Alt key, that makes pushing the buttons difficult because Alt is really underrated and oft-used. But I meant difficult like, the space in my brain that would normally come up with things to say to the computer word processor is absent. Or filled with noodles. And my brain doesn’t have a way of eating the neighbor noodles so they just have to live together. The noodles are useless too, it’s not like they do something.