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No, see, if you COULD care less, then where lies the insult?
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Jarrod
Brisbane, Australia
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May 2, 2010 - 11:04 pm
Member Since: February 4, 2010
Forum Posts: 607
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With the cheese on top, it sounds kinda nacho-y.  Maybe I did try it while I was over there and didn't realise that it had a funny name, nor was a national treasure.

 

When are you cooking it up for us all to try, xtal?  You bring the poutine, and I'll bring th' barby.

 

@Jen - with the "try and" and "try to", maybe the "try and" people are assuming that they'll succeed.  Such as:

Today I will try and go to the store =Today I will try to go to the store, and I WILL go to the store...?  Which would then mean that the "try to" people lack confidence in their trying.

 

@Toger - I visited lovely Seattle for a day back in 1997.  They put a little obscure piece of green cardboard into my passport.  Then I went to visit Seattle again in 2001.  Some lovely armed guards came and marched me out of the car to one of their interview rooms.  We had a friendly chat about how I was an illegal immigrant in the US hiding for the previous four years, and how they would have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars looking for me, and not to mention the man-hours etc.  And that I was really an irresponsible dirtbag, and blah blah blah because I did not give back the little green card that they placed in my passport.  And apparently it was obvious I should have given it back in 1997 without it being requested.

 

Anyway, after my armed and heated (yet polite) berating, they did let me cross over the boarder for the day.  The only reason I wanted to cross was to renew my (Australian) driver's licence, which is valid 6 months from the day you enter Canada (I'd been there six months previously and didn't want to get a Canadian licence, hence earning a "new" entry date).

 

The US is much easier to leave than enter.

 

 

A man goes to knowledge as he goes to war, wide awake, with fear, with respect, and with absolute assurance. – The Teachings of Don Juan

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Scout
Portland, Oregon
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May 3, 2010 - 1:13 am
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Ah yes the enchanting and lovely US Custom Agent.  I have a cousin who has worked in the Agency for his entire working life. He was the one we always beat up in the summers as kids. So I must take a bit of responsibilty for your ordeal, Jarrod. Most of them are just extracting revenge on innocents for their own failure as functioning human beings. Forgive them for they are minerals.

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Steerpike
Subtropical Southeastern Michigan
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May 3, 2010 - 8:36 am
Member Since: April 10, 2009
Forum Posts: 3307
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Here in the U.S. we especially like to terrorize visitors from OUR CLOSEST ALLIES. That's why you had such a hard time, Jarrod. Visitors from countries that actually hate our guts usually just breeze right through.

 

"Hello, customs agent."

 

"Hello, Visitor From A Country That Hates Our Guts. That a bomb you have strapped to yourself there?"

 

"Yes, I'm going to try and blow myself up somewhere crowded, because the US doesn't have poutine."

 

"Oh well, I could care less about that. Off you go."

 

"Thank you."

 

"Hel- wait… Australia? Hank! Get the probe!"

Life is the misery we endure between disappointments.

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Toger
Somewhere, out there...
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May 3, 2010 - 11:04 am
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I've been practically strip-searched because I made the mistake of changing my destination airport due to the original destination suffering from severe ice storms. I guess I was supposed to wait hours and hours instead of trying to get to where I'd paid to go! Silly togeraptor.

Powered by PMS ™

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Jarrod
Brisbane, Australia
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May 3, 2010 - 11:46 pm
Member Since: February 4, 2010
Forum Posts: 607
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@ Scout – so that was your fault?!?  I'll get you for that!  You just wait until you come to Australia Customs!  We'll force you to throw out all of your wood products and food!  That'll learn you… that'll learn you real good.

 

@ Steerpike – Fortunately there was no probing.  I don't mind a little roasting.  I just don't know what they expected to achieve by it.  If they'd asked me to do something in contrition, or were going to take me to court, or whatever, then it would seem to serve some purpose.  As it was I just sat there fairly politely waiting for them to finish.  The room looked pretty boring, so I put their attitudes down to boredom.  I know I'd be bored at their border crossing too.  I hope that no real criminals snuck through while we were chatting, but that's a risk they're willing to take, I guess.

 

@ Toger – travel sucks, that's for sure.  Being on holidays is great.  Visiting new places is awesome.  Getting there is absolute poo.  If I had three super powers, the second one would be Teleportation (and by touch, no less).  Then I could simply zip to where I wanted to go.  Or hold someone's hand and take them with me.  Or touch a TV in a store and zip it to my home.  Or gold.  Or zip my enemies 1,000 metres into the air.  Or into the sun.

 

What second super powers would you guys have?

A man goes to knowledge as he goes to war, wide awake, with fear, with respect, and with absolute assurance. – The Teachings of Don Juan

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xtal
planet
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May 4, 2010 - 4:40 pm
Member Since: April 19, 2009
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I'm curious as to what your first and third are, Jarrod.

 

If I, however, could possess one super power I believe it would be described thusly: the ability to turn money into cheese, cheese into beer, and beer into money. It would be used in a situation like the following.

 

One day I would like some cheese, but I do not have enough money to purchase cheese. I simply turn what physical money I have into cheese. Later that day I have had my fill of cheese and am really pining for some beer; presto: I convert my leftover cheese to beer. Later that night-- quite drunk I might add-- I decide I am going to need more beer than I currently possess. This is a problem. I have no more cheese, I turned it all into beer. And I have no more money to buy beer, I turned that into cheese. But wait: with my final, unmolested bottle of beer, I create money. Enough money to buy an adequate amount of beer.

 

This is my super power.

 

Disclaimer: I realize that may constitute three super powers, but I don't fucking care. They're my super powers.

If being wrong's a crime I'm serving forever

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Jen
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May 4, 2010 - 5:40 pm
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You should've saved one to deodorize your farts!

 

My second super power would be the ability to make people do my bidding.

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Jarrod
Brisbane, Australia
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May 4, 2010 - 11:34 pm
Member Since: February 4, 2010
Forum Posts: 607
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You already do, don't you Jen!  And xtal, I'm not going to mess with you in a super-fight!

 

My first choice would be reality manipulation, but a lot of fellow nerds say that would basically make me a god, with no need for any other super powers (which is fine by me).

 

If I couldn't have that as my first, I'd have the Superman villain Doomsday's power - re-incarnation/whatever kills you, makes you stronger power.  Supe kills him, he comes back stronger/immune etc.

 

Then with my second power I'd teleport into space... die... then come back able to live in a vacuum!  Teleport to Venus, die, and come back bad-ass!  Get shot by high calibre guns, come back immune to bullets etc.  Choke on some of xtal's cheese or beer, come back immune to...  wait... I don't think I want to be immune to beer.  But you get my point.  A type of organic immortality.  I could teleport all kinds of neat stuff up to Mars, and set up my home base there, once I'd died there, of course.

 

With those two powers out of the way, any third power would be gravy.  Like telekinesis, or multiplicity.  That would be cool - flooding the world with Jarrods.

 

The only thing that could possibly bring me down might be some kind of... mind control... thingy.

 

And best I don't have powers to control reality, I've too much planned and wouldn't rest for aeons.

A man goes to knowledge as he goes to war, wide awake, with fear, with respect, and with absolute assurance. – The Teachings of Don Juan

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geggis
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May 5, 2010 - 8:56 am
Member Since: September 26, 2009
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Hahaha, I like xtal's power. It's genius. What sort of cheese?

Jen your power has a lot of potential for unbridled convenience and pleasure. By pleasure I mean bringing xtal to make me cheese, beer and money.

Time control would be a lot of fun. It would almost make life a game as you try to optimise your path through it. Even conversations that didn't go so well could be rewound in order to get a better outcome. You could sit there, with time paused, considering your words or actions perfectly or alternatively go crazy and see what happens. All those endless possibilities and missed opportunities would be yours. You could do just what you want when you wanted, knowing full well the consequences could be reversed. Even just sitting there with time paused would be bliss.

Failing that, I'm back to Jen's power.

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Jen
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May 5, 2010 - 11:28 am
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Jarrod, people only do my bidding some of the time. I want them to do it all of the time! Including bringing me cheese, beer, and money.

 

My farts already smell like roses.

 

I used to say that to my sons when they were little, and they both grew up thinking roses didn't smell very nice [Image Can Not Be Found]

 

 

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geggis
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May 5, 2010 - 1:14 pm
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Oh god, that last bit made me laugh out loud Jen. Priceless.

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