The Log might be a little later than scheduled this month, but The Log is here nonetheless. And he’s here to count your gaming misery. March was a pretty brutal month for The Log, and some of those minus figures are really starting to toll up.
You’ve waited this long to hear what they’ve been working on…
I know this is likely to render meaningless the lives of many a reader, but you gaze upon the fifth-to-last Dark Souls Diary.
“Steerpike!” You cry. “No! Please for the love of all that is good and/or holy, say it’s not true! You have already written twenty thousand seven hundred and eighty-eight words, words we neither solicited nor enjoyed! Your own mother has asked you to stop! Say that we don’t have to read five more of these before the torment can end! We beg you Steerpike, just type this: ‘and then I did a bunch of other stuff and won the end forever.’ Wouldn’t that be a pithy closing?”
That actually would be pretty clever.
Unfortunately Kermdinger Studios was hit by a meteorite yesterday and completely obliterated. Bummer.
Okay, I’m just kidding. Only Ethan was obliterated.
While I’m stuck in my room because the Queen is outside and they won’t let me out (still sore about that whole revolution thing, I guess), I’ll get you up to date on what the Kermdinger chaps have been up to.
I completed Dark Souls a couple weekends ago – something I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to do. However, just because I’m done doesn’t mean that each and every one of you aren’t hanging on breathlessly for the next installment of my Diary! Far be it from me to deny you.
Today the adventure continues with all new topics: oral hygeine for snakes, the world’s worst library, dragons in the buff, and more crystal than you can shake a hippie at! Let’s go!
We are now officially three months into 2012. Just where is the time going? I don’t know. But if you’re anything like me, not enough of it is being spent on gaming. Which brings us neatly to this month’s Log of Shame. The release calendar is starting to warm up nicely, and I suspect the arrival of a certain Mass Effect 3 might result in more than a few -1 scores for this month. Not …
Back on schedule. Heck yes.
Time to stop stalling, people. There’s a giant snake-dog thing that wants me in Anor Londo, there’s treasure in Anor Londo, there’s plenty of reasons to go to Anor Londo. No more detours. No more diversions.
Let’s do this thing.
Oh, LucasArts. Dear, dear LucasArts. Do you remember all the good times we had in the 90s? I do. But I bet I remember one that you don’t.
Something snarky about it being Wednesday.
Well, Tappers, it’s Tuesday morning again, and–wait, I’ve just been handed some kind of note.
I see. I see. …Yes.
So they’re telling me it isn’t Tuesday morning anymore. Apparently we’ve managed to keep this feature “on time” for all of “two weeks”. Well you know what? This is INDIE GAMING! We don’t need your stinkin’ corporate stooge deadlines and schedules and stuff.
Anyway…the continuing adventures of Kermdinger Studios, LLC., below.
Happy Love Month everybody! Awww. Bleurgh. Enough of that. We all gave our wives, girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends and significant others enough attention on Tuesday. Now it’s back to the backlog. Are we all still keeping up? Don’t forget you can find those good old rules right here. Updated scores in the comments! Who will be losing/winning this month? Email the author of this post at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I’m trying to keep these funny, in part because there’s nothing funny about Dark Souls – almost nothing, at least. And making it funny makes it a little less… bleak for the rest of you. But there are moments when the morose nature of the game will intervene, and some of my experiences in this installment may qualify.
Steerpike the Handsome Sorcerer continues his journey today, with some business advice to a trio of unexpected entrepreneurs, a visit to the sunlit city of the gods, and another to a frozen realm of pure loneliness. What can I say? You can cover a lot of ground in 45 deaths.
It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means. Time to check in with Kermdinger Studios, LLC, and see how things are going.