Last year around this time Mat C started a project where we all confessed to our “backlog” sins. This was particularly useful for me, since at the time, I had also made a sort of New Year’s Resolution with my husband. “No new games, until you beat games you already own.” Seemed simple enough, and with the Log of Shame I did my best to tally my ratio of new games to games completed.
But there were some problems.
How should I tally games like Civilization V, which I played several times? Did winning a round constitute “beating the game”? Was I letting myself down if I went back and played a game I’d already beaten before? What if I played an MMO? What about games that are free, or given freely – count against my tally, or not? Mat of course handled a lot of this in his FAQ, such as the role of mods on one’s log of shame. That didn’t stop me from finishing the port of Final Fantasy IV for the DS, because I’ve had it for years and had been putting off fighting the final boss. But since I’d beaten this game before in other formats, I’m not sure if it had a positive impact on my log or not. It also didn’t stop me from picking up a new stack of titles during the holiday season. I finished… a couple?
Yesterday I learned of the “Four in February challenge.” The idea is to beat four games from one’s shameful backlog in February 2013. I thought, “my log is pretty huge; I should do this.” Then I realized that I didn’t actually want to add another duty to my “to do” list. I like games, enjoy them, and use them to unwind. Since I have the luxury for now of playing and reviewing games of my own choosing, why make that any harder than it is?
This year I got the gift of an OnLive subscription. That’s 200 new games – some indie, some older AAA games: mostly games I have not played before, but some I have. Some I’m interested in, some I’m not. I’ve played several, finished one. Does all this count toward my log of shame, knowing that all the games will disappear next January?
I once signed up for an account on The Backloggery. I looked there today, and there it still was. I hadn’t touched it in four years (“now playing” said Fallout 3). I hadn’t even finished inputting the games I owned at the time, and now among the myriad options of indie bundles and new consoles and Steam sales I may have a hundred more. I realized that even trying to log every game in my collection was a huge project – a fool’s errand – an unnecessary chore – and closed the account.
I keep looking at that word “shame.” It shows up on Mat’s logs; it shows up on the Four in February page. We’re ashamed because we bought a consumer good, but then didn’t fully consume it. It’s the same kind of shame associated with owning a library of classic books, but not actually reading them. The shame of loading documentaries onto one’s Netflix queue and then deciding to watch braindead television specials instead.
I think I’m exhausted by shame. I think I’m ready to stop feeling ashamed of the media I choose not to consume. We have lots of options these days, and most everyone leaves something on the table. Statistics and anecdotal evidence both back me up on this. I have the ability to play nearly any game my heart desires. My options are functionally endless. I should feel happy and privileged. I am surrounded by a potential lifetime of media joy.
I am not the type that sells back games for pennies at the GameStop. I keep them. My collection is therefore enormous, ranging from Commodore 64 and NES carts all the way up to PS3 exclusives. I’ve decided to think of it not as a backlog, but as a library. I can reach into there at any time and find something that interests me. Then I can enjoy that at my own pace, regardless of its age or its “finishability.” I feel lucky to have those options, but it’s silly to feel ashamed.
Of course Mat will surely say this is just wimping out on my part.
Pictured in the header: literally a random assortment. I can’t turn my head and spit in this apartment without hitting four games I haven’t finished. Neither the photo itself nor the promise of spitting are to be considered statements of intention.
Email the author of this post at aj@tap-repeatedly.com.
I have no real shame about my backlog. It’s enormous. According to Steam I have 127 games (that number is likely a little high, since for some reason I have 2 of every Civ IV game and it seems to count some other DLC). Still, for the number of games I have actually played and finished (or played sufficiently to have considered them “finished” like Civ V, Crusader Kings 2, Football Managers, et.c), the backlog of games I have never played or even installed is immense. That’s fine. Almost all of those games were bought for super cheap with the idea that, maybe one day I will want to play it because I once heard something interesting about it. No big loss there. I think my Steam sales days are slowing day, at least based on the last round of sales. As my library continues to grow, there are fewer and fewer games I feel the need to buy, even on the (extreme) cheap.
It’s pretty rare that I start a game that I enjoy and don’t finish it. I think the only one that jumps to mind is “Fallout: New Vegas”. I have invested many, many hours in it, but still haven’t finished it. I keep getting side tracked.
Then there are the handful of games I try, play for a few hours and realize that either I don’t really like the game or I am not in the mood to play it.
I have adopted a new policy to download any game I buy off Steam when I buy it, so I don’t have to get over that particular hurdle before playing it. It’s worked well. I just started playing “Witcher 2” that I picked up for $7.50 off Steam in November and I’m absolutely loving it.
There’s no way I could finish 4 games in February. I don’t have the time it would take to finish any game. Also, I hate rushing through games I enjoy. If I like a game, I want to play as long as I can, finish as many sidequests as possible, savor it.
I came to a similar conclusion a while back. We are in a kind of golden age where there are so many great games (and so many marginally interesting games) that even if you’re a professional reviewer who does literally nothing but play and review games all day, you’ll still have a hard time getting to everything you want to.
I used to worry that I was somehow letting myself down or somehow losing interest in playing games precisely because I *wasn’t* able to crank through a new game every week or so, like I could over Summer break (back when I had a Summer break) and that I couldn’t keep up with the steady stream of great new games. But now I just don’t worry about it. I just pick up something that looks interesting, and I know that I’ll get to it eventually.
It’s like what someone from Rare (in a mailbag, maybe? I kind of forget) said a while back to the younger kids when Conker’s Bad Fur Day came out (I’m paraphrasing, of course, the post is long gone): If a game’s good now, it will still be exactly as good in a few years when you get to play it.
Hi, my name is Synonamess Botch, and I have a backlog.
Whew, that felt good! You know they say that admitting you have a problem is the first step. 🙂 🙂
I don’t exactly feel guilty about my (admittedly modest) backlog. It’s just my inner kid grieving over the loss of unlimited free time.
Well said, AJ. I’m going to try and un-shame myself also. Like so many others, I have a huge backlog – so big it’d be essentially impossible to clear it out. And like Dix wrote about a few weeks back, I have a bad, baaaaaad case of Gamer’s Block. I’ve had it for months. I stare at my list of games but rarely start one. This makes me feel worse.
I don’t know if I can make the conscious decision to let those feelings go, but I’m gonna try. I’ve always believed that there’s nothing sadder than seeing something you love become something you resent. I don’t want to resent anything about games, or resent myself for not playing enough. Here’s to being done with shame!
I very much feel this. The other day I was feeling a little guilty and overwhelmed about the games I have but haven’t played, and I was like “This is no way to live your life! Screw this, I’m going to play Monster’s Den again, because I can.” Though I do feel a bit as though I should finish some more of the games I’ve started.
I then discovered that Barkley: Shut Up and Jam Gaiden has been ported to the Mac, so yeah, more stuff to do.
Heh, people are always wrestling with this, aren’t they?
For what it’s worth, I completely endorse your renewed approach to your backlog, and its something I’m trying to do myself. Viewing your collection of games as a library, something full of variety and fresh fun that can be accessed and enjoyed at any time, is absolutely key to all of this. Having a huge list of games on Steam is an opportunity, not a chore. Unfortunately there’s no button to press to make these mental gymnastics occur instantly, but personally I’m slowly learning to enjoy my ever growing collection rather than fear it.
Approaching my library is certainly helped by not buying this years Football Manager, too. This is the first year since 1997 that I’ve skipped it. Eep!
Also, sorry to all who participated for letting last years log die a premature death. Missing one month became missing two months became losing complete track of everything. Ugh :*(
Hear, hear. No more shame (though there’s always a place in our hearts for that adorable Log). I applaud your new found approach, AJ!
A few years back I bought one of those massive (like, 200+ slots) disc binders to house my entire collection of PC games, and of course it figures that shortly afterward the digital/Steam revolution begins. And so the binder will forever sit around 30% capacity.
I’d put console games in it…but I couldn’t bring myself to discard their cases so I just sell ’em. Poor games: no physical space to store them, and no space in my heart either. Crud.
I also applaud your new approach Amanda although my big concern is that I’ll never get round to playing certain titles because of just how much else there is vying for my attention — that’s more of a mortality issue though!
As my girlfriend and I keep saying when we realise we’ve spent a whole evening dicking around with our Android devices or, in my case, multiplaying with friends until sleepy time, if we’re enjoying ourselves what does it matter? That’s what it’s all about, whether we’re biting into our backlogs or not. But there are so many games I’d dearly like to find time for!
The only shame I hold is knowing that I will likely miss out on some great PC titles because I wait to long to play them and by the time I try it out my computer is just too new to play it right. Even with the emulation or using VM, I’m sure some games just won’t play right so I’ll miss out. I also know there will be a number of games that by the time I play them I’ll be looking for patches to download that will no longer be available. Oh well, nothing to do about it. Game on Tappers!
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