Today is a sad day, people. Today my iPhone died, after a good 12 months of faithful service. It’s Apple’s fault. The new iPhone OS update killed it, locking the device at about 1/8 of the “install complete” progress bar, and now I’m sad.
iPhone completed me. It brought joy to my largely meaningless existence. It kept me sane on long plane rides, when just last week I watched The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus and read several hundred pages of A Clash of Kings. Now iPhone is gone, and I’ll have to drive out to the Apple store and talk to some patchouli-scented unshaven goth Vegan hippie named “Wind” to get iPhone replaced. Or repaired. So I am sad. Sympathize, please.
Email the author of this post at firstname.lastname@example.org.